it's TUESDAY, dang it!

All DAY I've thought it was Wednesday, for some reason.  Then, after being completely surprised at seeing my friend at the bottom of the stairs.....she says the same thing, that she's thought it was Wed all day too!  Isn't that odd...or does it just seem odd to me?

Dr. Gabor Mate!  A WONderful find....was able to share that with SS tonight. 

After a bit of a pity-party, during that difficult day, a better day the following w AP and her boys who were having a blast.

Gratuitous,,,

....shot of hunky football player Lance Moore!

It's Christmas!

Holidays at The Roosevelt Hotel

Wow...these days just fly on by, don't they??  Another'good' day that even overshadowed some nastiness au travail.  The glimpse into what an 8 to 5 COULD be made me all the more angry and resentful, methinks, as surely just an email couldn't set me off like that, no? (ask SS who helped me out a bit by phone that afternoon....) Believe I figured out that some anger comes from resentment of things (I would not have expected).....like the GOOD day allowed me to contact friends to tell some of them....thanks...just for being my, you know?  The lack of responses kind of got to me...I mean....how hard is that?  But then....did you send it for the responses?  No.  I didn't think so.  You sent it just to send it, so be happy with that.

Made a commitment to do the Friday at GH.  Having that responsibility will help out, have lots of ideas, just need to slow down and take it as it comes, not forcing anything, not my place.  1/2 and 1/2 and satsumas....good, innocuous start.

Weeks of tapering off any dealings with powder keg have helped, branching out a little.  Am realizing the 'temporary' needs to be just that, lots of h/h flashes, back and forth, changing of minds.  And here I am, same thoughts, same ideas, less bother.  Me like-y.

Saturday 12.4.10

Lots of bike riding today, hurt hurt hurt hurt.  Very outer hips, upper back of thigh.  Won't quit....until I get on the bike, then it gets better as long as I'm pedaling. Getting more and more pissed at the bucaru. Starting to see who 'the crew' is, Sat 7 pm, small group. Some knife sticking by someone who shouldn't.  No room. SS earlier, resentments, anger, forgiveness, goods and bads and your part, on paper. 

Earlier ride included the park and, ENFIN, the City Park Sculpture garden.  Major Kitchen on the lookout.  IT guy and family too.

The evening ride included a trip to a few DesCours installations, such a lovely event that enables you to peek behind the curtain into a world that few experience on a daily basis.

And finally, after crossing Bourbon Street and before hearing the Santa Parade, saw this lovely site. 

Friday 12.3.10

Yes, I didn't quite make it.  But that's ok.  Some realizations today - completion and continuation can be a goal in and of itself.  It isn't necessarily the result that is the only goal.  The work, could also be the goal.  Moving forward, effort, attempts.  For instance, leaving laundry at the laundromat (hate that word) for 2 days because you were in too much of a funk to go back and pick it up....this perpetuates the same results.  Now, coming home from work and immediately hopping on the bicycle for a long ride around City Park, in the dark, was GOOD!  No doubt.  The amount of pain that brought me to that place, as the bike is the one place where I don't feel any right now, is not good.  But...this is a start.  It's a late start, true, but remember.....I have those 2 months of muscle memory from earlier this year.  It will come back a lot sooner that way, it will decrease, and it shouldn't take that long.

Interesting at 8, question on when does one's will end and yours begin? Along with 37 years of separation from all family, another reason to eschew 'religion'.  Similarities in certain things, but again, another realization. In questioning why someone would keep in touch with a relative solely based on the fact that they're relatives, and not based on actually liking that person, or wanting to be around them.  Actually, I think it was more pointed than that.  That they were 'bad'.  That was the intent, if not the actual words.  But...remember....we are not all one, or the other.  There is very little that is only one way, or only the other way.  A big one, really.  These 2, I'm proud of.